I don’t know about you, but there are times when I wonder if it’s all worth it? I have been struggling this week with discouragement. I have to get a background clearance from Taiwan, because I lived there for a year 15 years ago. I can’t send the clearance request form until I have my U.S. passport. I haven’t gotten my passport yet because the copy of my id I submitted with it was blurry, so I had to send a new copy. The ironic thing is that I send in my expired passport along with the new passport application. We can’t complete our home study until all the paperwork and clearances are tuned in. We can’t move to the next step until we complete our home study.

This all means that our poor baby girl has to wait longer and longer until we can go and meet her first, and ultimately, bring her home. As we look at Christmas lights, celebrate traditions, buy presents I hope this is her last Christmas without us, meanwhile, my heart sinks with every delay wondering if she still has at least another year before she comes home.

I am anxious to go get her, my heart leaps when I get to talk about her and tell people our story. We pray for her every day and talk about her with our kids. They want her. I know God orders our steps and makes our paths straight. I know HIs timing is perfect. It is just hard to wait, knowing she is waiting too.